Domestic Bliss?

Relationships are great, aren’t they? Exploring new restaurants together, seeing movies, laughing at each other’s strange bowling technique, hanging out at home together, getting sweaty and breathless together playing sport (and maybe that other thing that would make you sweaty and breathless too).

Oh yes, it’s all fun and games. That is until one day, someone spontaneously looses their cool out of nowhere.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s a build up of not enough sleep due to other nocturnal activities, or too many nights in and a build up of KFC buckets and Chinese takeout containers, but all of a sudden, someone cracks it. And in my relationships, it’s usually me. Whereas a month ago I thought fighting over dishes or laundry was petty and that my new boyfriend could do no wrong and I didn’t mind getting him drinks, cooking him dinner, giving him a massage – and doing it all looking super cute and always with a smile. No, not now. Now, I was pissed.

Nothing had changed. Our relationship was still exactly the same - except for me. Suddenly my head is filled with enraged irrational, PMS type thoughts. …..I was being taken for granted, it was a sign that ‘he’ was happy being a slob and I needed him to know that was not ok. Did he just expect me to clean up after him.

There’s nothing more unsexy than feeling like someone’s cleaner (that is, unless you dress up in a cute maid’s outfit without any intention of cleaning the house). And trust me boys, that’s the easiest way to end the non-stop love making in any new relationship.

Oh, navigating the world of new relationships is tricky. I’ve tried many things to help ease the stress of dividing the domestic duties. I’ve done a daily roster which my boyfriend just laughed at and ignored. I’ve tried whinging – which is rarely successful and results in my boyfriend saying “yes honey, I’ll get to it. Just come and sit down with me” by which he’s hoping you’ll just forget about it.

I’ve even tried his trick of not doing anything. A chore-stand-off. This never works with men. They don’t care if the dishes haven’t been washed for 3 days. In fact, I would recommend avoiding this strategy. It only results in you getting more and more agitated and not having any dishes to eat dinner on.

The only thing that I’ve found to work – buy a dishwasher.